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How to Deal With Narcissistic Parents, Signs, Traits & Co-Parenting Stategies

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A narcissistic parent will often abuse the normal parental role of guiding their children and being the primary decision-maker in the child’s life, becoming overly possessive and controlling. Continue to learn more about how to get help when you have narcissistic parents.

By We Level Up FL Treatment Center | Editor Yamilla Francese | Clinically Reviewed By Lauren Barry, LMFT, MCAP, QS, Director of Quality Assurance | Editorial Policy | Research Policy | Last Updated: January 30, 2023

What is a Narcissistic Parent?

Narcissistic parents are incredibly possessive of their children and feel threatened by their children developing any independence. As a result, children of narcissistic parents generally experience humiliation and shame and have poor self-esteem. Often, these children become adults that are high achievers, self-saboteurs, or both. Children hurt by this type of parent will need professional help for trauma recovery.

A narcissistic parent is a parent affected by narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder. This is a disorder where someone exhibits extreme self-involvement, an inflated sense of their own importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. This often leads to abusive and manipulative behavior that can affect the development of children.

Signs of a Narcissistic Parent

A narcissistic parent can be defined as someone who lives through, is possessive, and engages in marginalizing competition with the offspring. Typically, the narcissistic parent perceives a child’s independence (including adult children) as a threat and coerces the offspring to exist in the parent’s shadow with unreasonable expectations. In a narcissistic parenting relationship, the child is rarely loved just for being themself.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem vulnerable to the slightest criticism. [1]

Signs Your Mother or Father Is a Narcissist

Not all “narcissistic parents traits” are typical, but it’s not uncommon for a mother or father to display narcissistic tendencies, which can be just as damaging when rearing a child. Identifying the signs of narcissistic abuse can be difficult, but there are several common themes among narcissistic parents.

Top Narcissistic Parents Signs

Here are the possible signs of a narcissist parent or symptoms of a narcissistic parent (narcissistic mother symptoms or narcissist mother symptoms):

  • Narcissistic parent symptoms include constantly needing the conversation to be about them.
  • One of the symptoms of parents with a narcissistic personality disorder is immature and selfish behavior.
  • Bragging about your achievements to others but rarely acknowledging you or supporting you emotionally
  • Blaming others for any problems you may have that stem from their behavior
  • Being well-liked and essential to others but controlling and harsh when no one is looking
  • Being well-liked and essential to others but controlling and harsh when no one is looking
  • Being well-liked and essential to others but controlling and harsh when no one is looking
  • Making you feel bad for not doing what they want immediately
  • Making you feel guilty by boasting about how much they have done for you
  • Harshly opinionated at home but putting up a front for other people.
  • Being ruthless and unforgiving, doing anything to be on top
  • Making you feel anxious and often lowering your confidence
  •  Being absent from your life events
  • Making you engage in sports or other activities, despite your wishes
  • Failing to provide warmth and emotional nurturance in the relationship
  • Using you to attain personal gain
  • Being bothered and annoyed when you need time and attention
  • Making poor excuses to limit time together
  • Displaying sudden mood changes and volatile anger
Parental narcissistic abuse involves having trouble with anything perceived as a criticism or penetrating this image they have cultivated of themselves.
Parental narcissistic abuse involves having trouble with anything perceived as a criticism or penetrating this image they have cultivated of themselves.

Narcissistic Behavior in Parents

Effects of a narcissistic parent: Being raised by a narcissist (selfish parents) and having narcissistic parents can take a severe toll on your mental well-being. In public, these parents are viewed as perfect and loving. But behind closed doors, they rage, scream, and criticize. As a result, the parent will control the child’s life, be possessive, and view the child as an extension of the parent. [1]

How Narcissistic Parents Affect Your Mental Health & Narcissistic Parenting Signs

Here are nine common traits of adults and children who grew up with narcissistic parents and signs of narcissistic abuse from parents. Effects of having a narcissistic mother or father:

  • Indecision: Adult children of narcissistic parents (adults of narcissistic parents) fear that they will hurt someone else by choosing to do what’s right for them. They have been ‘trained’ to consider their parent’s needs first and foremost, and it is hard for them to consider their own needs without feeling selfish for doing so. This indecision and guilt can be paralyzing.
  • Internalized Gaslighting – Gaslighting Narcissistic Parent: Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation in which a person or a group covertly sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual, making them question their memory, perception, or judgment. One example would be if a parent denies some experience from the past, invalidating their feelings about the event. Growing up with a narcissistic parent can leave an adult child with little to offer. Growing up, their talents and skills may have been downplayed, ignored, or co-opted by narcissistic parents who felt threatened by their child’s skills. Even when the success of the now-adult experiences, they may think that they don’t deserve it—this can give rise to impostor syndrome.
  • Loyalty & Guilt for Moving On: Even after growing up amid lies, manipulation, and abuse, it can be challenging for adult children to step away from caring for and loving their narcissistic parents. They will likely feel guilty for stepping away or setting boundaries with narcissistic parents and may even enter into relationships with partners who show narcissistic traits. This is because a love based on manipulation and conditions is known to them, whereas unconditional love might seem terrifying.
  • No Focus on Their Own Needs: As the parent lives vicariously through their child, their goals are ignored. The child learns that their objectives and needs are not necessary. Instead, they focus on pleasing the parent to stay in their graces. This may lead to anxiety as the child strives to be the perfect child – living up to the narcissist’s unrealistic desires. Depression may occur due to the child not meeting the parent’s expectations.
  • Chronic Self-Blame: Whether or not the parent is openly abusive to the child, they are usually emotionally unavailable. They are too preoccupied with themselves and their concerns to hear their child’s pain. Therefore, to maintain the family unit, the child shies away from blaming their parent and instead takes all the blame on themselves. This can continue into adulthood, where the adult child blames things that aren’t always their fault. As a result, they become scapegoats in many situations to keep the peace.
  • Echoism: Echoists and Narcissists complement each other, as echoes fear becoming narcissists or fear taking any attention away from them. Essentially, narcissistic parents can explode into anger or burst into tears without much warning, which forces their children to take up as little space as possible to avoid triggering one of these emotional outbursts (also fearing taking any attention away from the narcissist in the process). It can feel like walking on eggshells, trying to do everything possible to avoid their parent having a meltdown.
  • Insecure Attachment: Adult children of a narcissist are likely to become insecurely attached to their parents, never experiencing that safe base they need to feel comfortable exploring their environment. The neglect, manipulation, or emotional absence of a parent can leave their child questioning how safe they will be able to think in other people’s hands. This leads some adults to become fiercely independent, developing trust issues since they have no one to rely upon. However, it can lead others to cling to their partners for love and demand the attention of their significant other at all times.
  • Constant Focus on Others’ Happiness: Children who grow up with a narcissistic parent will have organized their whole life and personality around their parent’s happiness and will then grow up organizing their life around the happiness of others – many of them working in the helping profession.
  • Always on Edge: The parent’s behavior is unpredictable. They are unsure what will please the parent, thus causing feelings of being on edge. The child will feel responsible for the parent’s happiness. They will also learn that their parent’s kindness comes with conditions leaving the child feeling accountable.

Co parenting with a Narcissist Strategies That Work

The best strategy for co-parenting with a narcissist is to stay focused on the needs of the children. Try to agree on decisions and parenting schedules ahead of time, and keep communication about the children respectful and professional. Whenever possible, make decisions together for the sake of the children. Also, try to be firm with boundaries, and stick to your decisions. Finally, don’t be afraid to solicit advice from outside sources, such as counselors or mediators.

Like many personality traits, parent narcissistic personality disorder is usually distributed among the population, meaning that most of them fall somewhere along the middle of the spectrum. At the same time, only a few reach the extremes. So, what are smart co parenting with a narcissist strategies, continue reading to find out.
Like many personality traits, parent narcissistic personality disorder is usually distributed among the population, meaning that most of them fall somewhere along the middle of the spectrum. At the same time, only a few reach the extremes. So, what are smart co parenting with a narcissist strategies, continue reading to find out.

When co-parenting with a narcissist, remember to take care of yourself too. Although the situation is stressful, try to set aside time to take care of your own well-being. Make sure you have ample time to decompress and connect with friends or family who can help support you. Seek professional help if needed, such as counseling or mediation services, to help manage the situation.

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Living With a Narcissistic Parent & Signs Your Parent is a Narcissistic

How does it feel Living With Narcissistic Parents? How to handle a narcissistic parent? If your mother has narcissistic tendencies, she might come out as selfless—as someone who constantly takes care of her children without thinking of herself. A narcissistic mother could be a soccer coach, PTO president, or class parent. However, that involvement is purely selfish. She engages in it because she craves attention and must participate in all decisions.

How do you deal with a narcissistic mother? She might be excessively interested in your life if you’re an adult. She could make everything you do more about her than about you. Perhaps you’re arranging a wedding, but she says she won’t go if your father is invited. Or she continually brings the conversation back to herself when you speak. If you have kids, she might put in a lot of effort to join you in parenting, even if it means ignoring the other parent.

According to Mark Ettensohn, Psy.D., the author of Unmasking Narcissism: A Guide to Understanding the Narcissist in Your Life, if your mother is a narcissist, she may be emotionally manipulative and coercive. He explains that “narcissistic parents may give unrealistically good feedback that might quickly flip into excessively harsh or punishing criticism.”

Apart from being an extension of her, your mother might not perceive you for who you are on the inside. She can find it challenging to comprehend and accept her emotions, and she might become upset or nervous if she feels rejected or judged.

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Narcissist Parenting Statistics

If you are thinking of seeking drug addiction treatment for yourself or a loved one, you are not alone. The number of people suffering from substance use disorders in the US is astounding. Here are some reports from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. [2]


1 in 200

Approximately 0.5% of the United States population has a narcissistic personality disorder. It is equivalent to 1 in 200 people.

Source: NCBI

7.7%

 Narcissistic personality disorder characteristics are 7.7% more prevalent in men.

Source: NCBI

4.8%

Narcissism is a prevalent personality disorder in the general U.S. population and is associated with considerable disability among men, whose rates exceed those of women. For women, it is 4.8%.

Source: NCBI


Co-Parenting With a Narcissist Facts

“Narcissist co parenting” definition: If you’re co parenting narcissist, they may ignore, push, or test your boundaries. Or they might parent with less structure, empathy, or respect than you’d like. They often get angry when you give them feedback or criticism.


Co Parenting Counseling With a Narcissist

Co parenting with a female narcissist or “parallel parenting with a narcissist” male can have lifetime effects on their child. It is uncommon that a narcissist don’t co parent.

Narcissistic abuse parents will undoubtedly take a toll on your mental and emotional health, but you if to remember firmly that you’re stronger than you were back then. Do not fall victim to their narcissistic abuse ever again, even when they take advantage of the co-parenting situation.

Parenting is hard work. Co-parenting can be even more daunting. And if you’re co-parenting with a narcissist, well, it may feel near impossible at times.

If it’s getting too much to handle on your own, reach out. A licensed therapist can help you work through issues and come to solutions for those incredibly impossible scenarios. Even talking through your feelings with a neutral person can help you take a step back and reassess your situation.

The signs you are co parenting with a narcissist include:

  • They are often inflexible
  • Defensive
  • Manage the situation in unhealthy ways

Co Parenting With a Narcissist Quotes

  • “If you grew up with emotionally immature parents, you may face your challenges with reciprocity, having learned to give either too much or not enough. Your parents’ self-preoccupied demands may have distorted your instincts about fairness. If you were an internalizer, you learned that to be loved or desirable. You need to give more than you get; otherwise, you’ll be of no value to others. If you were an externalizer, you might have the false belief that others don’t love you unless they prove it by always putting you first and repeatedly overextending themselves for you.” – Lindsay C. Gibson‘s Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, Narcissistic Parents Quotes
  • “Remember, your goodness as a person isn’t based on how much you give in relationships, and it isn’t selfish to set limits on people who keep on taking.” ― Lindsay C. Gibson, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents, Narcissistic Parent Quotes, Narcissist Parent Quotes.

How to Deal With Narcissistic Parents? Coping with a Narcissistic Mother & Symptoms of Narcissistic Parents

Dealing with a narcissistic parent: growing up with narcissistic parents, being an adult, and dealing with narcissistic parents is a decision. You might need to make some difficult choices, such as establishing new restrictions on what you will and won’t put up with going into the future. Determining what kind of relationship—if any—you want to work on with this parent may take some time. You may anticipate both ups and downs.

How to live with a narcissistic parent? Prioritize your emotional health and self-care when you’re in a relationship with any narcissist. Narcissists can sap your vitality and distort the truth to the point that you question whether you’re the one who has the issue. That’s because you’ve probably always been the target of suspicion.

how to handle narcissistic parents? Here are some ways to deal with narcissistic parents and how coping with narcissistic parents can be successful:

  • Remind yourself you are dealing with a narcissist
  • Know you cannot change the narcissist (only they can do that)
  • Avoid questioning yourself or not listening to your gut 
  • Keep in mind that explaining to the narcissist that they’re being narcissistic doesn’t work (they’re not self-aware enough, don’t have enough empathy, and can’t fully receive what you’re saying)
  • Don’t isolate yourself on an island with your narcissistic parent (i.e., work on your other family dynamics and don’t spend all your attention on this one person)
  • Set healthy boundaries about what you will and will not do for them
  • Don’t accept false promises to change after arguments or blowouts with a narcissist
  • Tell them directly the role you want them to play in your life or the life of any future pets, children, etc.
  • Seek external help and support for yourself, including mental health help and developing a solid network of emotionally healthy people
  • Be willing to pause or permanently end the relationship if necessary for your well-being.

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How to Deal With Narcissist Parents Traits & Narcissistic Parental Abuse

Dealing with a covert narcissist parent can be extremely draining. If you’re struggling with narcissistic parent traits, take these steps to manage your relationship and start healing from narcissistic parents. How to deal with signs of a narcissistic parent?

  • Set boundaries – confronting a narcissistic mother: Setting boundaries with a narcissistic mother. Create and maintain healthy boundaries for narcissistic parents. Be clear about what’s OK and what isn’t.
  • Stay calm: Try not to react emotionally to what she says, even if it’s an insult. The narcissist wants a reaction from you because it means they have control and can shift the mood as they please. “Your calm is your power.”
  • Plan your responses: Have a respectful exit strategy when conversations go off the rails. Prepare and practice statements like “I have to get going, Mom,” or “We’ll have just to agree to disagree.”
  • Let go: You may feel pressure to keep your mother happy and be a perfect daughter or son. Let go of these thoughts. Remember, making your parent feel special, needed, or relevant isn’t your job.
  • Get help: Talk to a counselor if you’re struggling with a parallel parenting narcissist. They can help you understand how her narcissism affects you and learn how to break the cycle.
  • Step away (walking away from a narcissistic mother): It may be best to have limited or no contact with your mother, especially if she’s abusive or violent. Instead, focus on the things you can control. The only way to deal with a narcissistic mother is if your growth and happiness are a priority.

Recovery From Narcissistic Parents Checklist & Narcissist Parent Signs

Dealing with narcissistic parental alienation? Here is a list of what can help you heal from narcissistic parent brainwashing, abuse, and trauma.

  • Get into good therapy: You want to come to terms with your narcissistic enabler parents, and how they hurt you. They’re your parents, after all, and you will need to differentiate from them to enjoy their presence without being undermined. It’s no small task.
  • Accept your parents for who they are: Their arrogance and constant need for ego-stroking can be annoying. If you put them in your mind, they may become lovable but annoying parents. Take the best, as long as they don’t still have the power to hurt you.
  • Do not let your parents hurt you: If they have a rage attack, you may decide to get in the car and leave. Limits are often a good thing. A narcissistic step parent is also subject to this.
  • Cut ties if it is too toxic or dangerous: Some narcissist parenting traits include violence or abusive tendencies. It goes along with their self-righteousness. You are now an adult. Take care and take caution.
  • Keep your expectations realistic and low: Don’t expect a relationship with a narcissistic person to be based on mutuality or reciprocity. Narcissists are selfish and can’t put your needs on par with their own. As an adult, you can keep these conflicts with your father at a distance; but if you date or marry a narcissist, it probably will wear you out.

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11 Ways to Deal With Narcissistic Parents (Narcissist Parent Abuse). Coping and Co parenting with a Narcissist Tips.

How to get through to narcissistic parenting traits? Here are 11 tips for how to co parent and deal with a narcissistic partner:

  1. Realize What Is Happening: You will never win with a narcissist. Narcissistic parent signs include thriving on their sense of control, and you will pay dearly if you do not bend to their will. Getting their needs met is more valuable than having a functional family structure. If you try to compromise, they will only manipulate the situation in their favor. You need to realize that this is not normal behavior.
  2. Accept & Let Go: Changing a narcissist is nearly impossible unless the narcissist wants to change. Accepting who they are will reduce your anxiety. Remember, the negative words and actions aimed at you are projections of how they feel about themselves, and they are deeply wounded people.
  3. Resist Gaslighting Attempts: Unfortunately, it is common for narcissistic parents to make their children feel crazy or delusional. For example, a narcissistic parent will tell you it’s sunny outside during a hurricane. Ignoring these attempts and working on your self-esteem and confidence is key to survival.
  4. Be Compassionate: Though they may not show it, the narcissistic parent cares deeply about you. Yet, under that hard exterior is a compassionate individual that needs compassion and empathy from you.
  5. Prioritize Self-Compassion: After having a difficult childhood that most likely lacked compassion, it is time you give that compassion to yourself—Pat yourself on the back for making it through this abusive parent-child relationship. Learn to self-soothe and give yourself all the mercy your parent couldn’t give you. Recovering from such a childhood is not an easy process. It will take time. So, be patient and forgive yourself. It is okay to put your needs first. It is okay to take time for yourself. It is okay if you do not have the energy to support others. It is okay to say no without explaining.
  1. Lean on Other Support Systems: Children of narcissistic parents may often have difficulty validating their children. Therefore, seeking out the support of others is vital. Create your social network through friends, co-workers, social clubs, etc. It may also be helpful to join a support group with others who have narcissistic parents.
  2. Develop Confidence & Self-Worth: Recognizing your self-worth is essential despite your narcissistic parent’s insults. In addition, finding activities that increase your skills and abilities will help boost your confidence.
  3. Assert Your Boundaries: A narcissistic parent will often test and cross your boundaries to prove they can. For example, they may show up uninvited to your home, break family rules to get you angry, or play favorites with your children. Therefore, you must set firm boundaries and enforce consequences when they are crossed. It may feel like you are disciplining a child, but be firm and clear about why you are putting your foot down. You may even need to give them a timeout by asking them to leave if they do not follow the rules.
  4. Be Transparent With Your Plans: You may be tempted into subtle or sneaky behaviors with your narcissistic parent, but try to avoid the practice. You may be better off stating your plans and intentions clearly and concisely. Let them know that you recognize their undesirable or harmful behaviors and express your course of action. This practice will eliminate their ability to act surprised by your reactions, reducing the risk of feeling guilty or regretful about your decisions later.
  5. Predict Their Next Moves: Narcissists are complicated and complex, but their behaviors are expected and predictable at times. Help yourself deal with a narcissistic parent by making predictions of their following action and how you’d like to react. Even if you are inaccurate, there is some benefit to being prepared for their next move. First, their narcissistic traits will likely stop, so staying thoughtful can help limit future damage.
  6. Walk Away: There is tremendous societal pressure to maintain family relationships, but these bonds may do more bad than good. Spend some time considering the prospect of temporarily or permanently ending the relationship. In some cases, it may be the only practical option. All of these tips are easier said than done. It’s hard to deal with a narcissistic parent on your own. This is why finding a therapist committed to your well-being is so essential. If you’re ready to get the support you deserve, find a therapist who specializes in working with children of narcissistic parents. 
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How to Heal From Narcissistic Parents

Most people will not understand the emotional toll you experience with a narcissistic parent. Seeking help from people with no experience of narcissism will only leave you feeling silly. Even if they tell you about problematic family members, it will not compare. It is hard to put into words your experiences in a way that others can understand.

We Level Up FL offers comprehensive mental health treatment for trauma and depression in a child of narcissistic parents.
We Level Up FL offers comprehensive mental health treatment for trauma and depression in a child of narcissistic parents.

If you’re the child of a narcissist, you will likely struggle with these problems:

  • Low self-esteem
  • Anxiety or depression
  • Codependency in other relationships
  • Poor boundaries
  • Being a people-pleaser
  • Inability to say “no.”
  • Chronic guilt
  • Emptiness
  • Inability to express or handle emotions
  • Trust issues
  • Anger, confusion, stress

How to Heal From Narcissistic Parents?

Treatment for adult children of narcissists is very personal, so working with a provider who understands your experience and makes you feel safe is essential. In addition, make sure they understand narcissistic personality disorder and recovery from narcissistic abuse or trauma.

If you’ve had trouble finding a therapist you connect with, consider scheduling a free consultation by contacting us here at We Level Up. We are mental health professionals who will listen to what you’re looking for and introduce you to a couple of therapists who are experienced in working with people with NPD and those raised by narcissistic parents.

10 Symptoms of Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers – 10 Symptoms of Sons of Narcissistic Fathers

Narcissistic mother trauma. Most people won’t comprehend the emotional toll having a narcissistic parent has on you. It will make you feel foolish to ask for assistance from those with no experience with narcissism. It won’t compare, even if they tell you about troublesome relatives. It can be challenging to explain your experiences in terms other people can grasp.

Survivors of narcissistic parents (effects of narcissistic parents) frequently struggle with the following issues:

  • Low self-esteem
  • Anxiety or depression
  • Codependency in other relationships
  • Poor boundaries
  • Being a people-pleaser
  • Inability to say “no.”
  • Chronic guilt
  • Emptiness
  • Inability to express or handle emotions
  • Trust issues
  • Anger (anger towards narcissistic mother or anger at narcissistic mother), confusion, and stress

Working with a professional who comprehends your experience and makes you feel comfortable is vital since treatment for adult children of narcissists is particularly individualized. Ensure they know the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and how to recover from parents of narcissists or trauma.

Narcissistic Parent vs Loving Parent

How to cope with a narcissistic parent? Indeed, most people would not actively choose to have a parent with narcissistic personality disorder, but positives could emerge if you are a combination of resilient and fortunate.

Some of the possible benefits of having signs of narcissistic parents include the following:

  • Better awareness of personality disorders. Navigating life with a personality-disordered parent will serve as an excellent education in the world of mental health. This process can help you identify and manage your friendships, romantic relationships, and workplace issues.
  • The ability to distinguish someone’s words from their behaviors. A narcissistic parent may often say one thing and do the other. The incongruence can be jarring to a child, but learning how people display this inconsistency can encourage you to seek out stable and reliable people.
  • Increased thoughtfulness. Narcissistic parents can hurt by trying to make their wants your wants. When you shed this burden, you can spend more time thinking about what you truly want and what direction you’d like to take your life.
  • Improved sense of self. Similarly, narcissistic parents may think they know you better than you. Without their influence, you can identify who you are apart from them and their impact.
  • Independence. Personality disorders are frequently about control. Once you find freedom, you will never again put yourself in that situation. The autonomy you find will feel so compelling and rewarding.

Spinning a negative situation into a positive one is not easy with narcissistic personality disorder parenting, and some will never be able to do so. If you can break away from the selfish influence, seek the good to minimize the past.

Types of Narcissistic Mothers & Signs Your Mother is a Narcissistic (Narcissistic Mother Syndrome)

If you are wondering, “what are the signs of a narcissistic mother?”, below are the typical signs of a narcissistic mother and signs of a narcissist mother:

  • The Flamboyant-Extrovert: This is the mother that is the subject of movies. She is a popular entertainer adored by the general public but privately dreaded by her close family and kids. She is a performer at heart and is known as the stage mom. She is flashy, entertaining, and “out there.” While you hate the mask, she puts on for the world. Some people adore her. You are aware that, aside from how you make her appear to the outside world, you don’t matter to her or her program.
  • The Accomplishment-Oriented: What you accomplish in life is extremely important to the achievement-driven mother. Success is determined by your actions, not by who you are. This mother is concerned with grades, top colleges, and relevant degrees. However, if you fail in what she believes you should, she is extremely ashamed and may even react angrily and angrily.
  • The Psychosomatic: The psychosomatic mother manipulates people, gets her way, and draws attention to herself by feigning illness and physical discomfort. She doesn’t give any thought to people nearby. Taking care of her will attract the attention of this type of mother. This kind of mother uses illness as an excuse to avoid facing her own emotions or overcoming obstacles in life. She is more ill than you are. She’ll up the stakes.
  • The Addicted (narc parents or narcissistic alcoholic mother): Because addiction speaks louder than anything else, a parent who uses drugs will always appear egotistical. Sometimes, but not usually, narcissism appears less when the addict sobers up. The youngster will never come before the bottle or medicine of choice.
  • The Secretly Mean: The abusive mother wants people to be unaware of how cruel she is to her kids. She will have two selves, one that is public and the other that is private. While being sweet and polite in public, many mothers are violent and harsh at home. The child is driven insane by the contradictory, erratic messages.
  • The Emotionally Needy: Although all narcissistic mothers exhibit emotional dependence, this mother shows it more overtly than others. You have to provide emotional support for this mother, which is detrimental to the child. The child’s feelings are disregarded, and it is doubtful that the youngster will experience the same kind of nurturing that the child is expected to give to the parent.

How to Support a Loved One Dealing With Narcissistic Parents

Children of narcissistic parents are unaware of the life-long effect that will disrupt their life if left untreated. To support a loved one dealing with narcissistic parents or narcissistic abuse, you must educate yourself on the disorder. Read articles and watch videos on the topic.

Here are some ways to support a loved one who has narcissistic parents:

  • Avoid blaming them, as they are the victim in the scenario
  • Be compassionate and listen to their story
  • Validate their feelings
  • Please help them to create a safe space to share their experience
  • Remember that they have been trained to accept this behavior
  • Be patient with them during their healing process

We Level Up Treatment Center provides world-class care with round-the-clock medical professionals available to help you cope. In addition, we work as an integrated team providing information about narcissistic parents and other aspects of treatment. Make this your opportunity to reclaim your life. Call today to speak with one of our treatment specialists. Our specialists know what you are going through and will answer any of your questions.

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  1. What is a narcissist parent?

    A narcissistic personality disorder parent is a self-centered and self-absorbed parent with an inflated self-image and thinks they are better than others.

  2. Do narcissistic parents raise narcissists?

    Narcissism tends to play out intergenerationally, with narcissistic parents producing comparable traits of children of narcissistic parents or codependent children.

  3. How to deal with a narcissist parent?

    When dealing with narcissist parental alienation, or narcissistic personality disorder in parents. Be clear about what’s OK and what isn’t. Stay calm. Try not to react emotionally to what they say, even if it’s an insult.

  4. How to talk to a narcissistic parent?

    Remember that the narcissistic parent has been a narcissist longer than you’ve been defending your boundaries — they have some skills to protect themselves from having to play by the rules — they will not take your changing things lightly or well. If you find yourself struggling, seek the help of a licensed professional. Seek evidence-based mental health treatment for narcissistic parent borderline personality disorder symptoms, parenting narcissistic personality disorder, or narcissistic parental alienation syndrome.

  5. How to handle a narcissistic parent and recover from PTSD?

    Growing up in a family where one or both of your parents are narcissists can leave scars that last into adulthood.

  6. Can a parent lose custody for being a narcissist?

    Yes. A parent can lose custody of their child if their narcissistic traits or NPD is not managed and begins to affect their children’s physical or emotional well-being negatively.

  7. How to co parent with a narcissist?

    To successfully co-parent with someone who has narcissistic traits, you need to establish a solid parenting plan, and make sure anything you both decide upon is documented.

  8. Can a narcissist be a good parent?

    A good parent helps their child develop a realistic sense of self by mirroring their thoughts, feelings, emotions, and needs. Narcissists can’t be good parents because they cannot have the emotional closeness that good parenting requires.

  9. Are my parents narcissists?

    What distinguishes the narcissistic parent is a pervasive tendency to deny your independent selfhood.

  10. Are there books about narcissistic parents?

    Yes. There are a lot of books that your therapist can recommend that may able to help to guide you in healing. This book will inspire you to change your situation if you are an adult child of a narcissistic father or mother. Searched for resources such as co parenting with a narcissist meme, narcissistic parents Reddit, narcissistic parents book, narcissist parent quiz, narcissistic parents quiz, is my parent a narcissist quiz?, narcissistic parent test, narcissist parent memes, narcissist parent checklist, sample parenting plan with a narcissist, co parenting with a narcissist book, Reddit narcissistic parents, narcissistic parent quiz, parenting coordinator narcissist, 14 rules for co parenting with a narcissistic guide? Parenting with a narcissist is a serious matter. Professional help can help you immensely with legal matters and mental health recovery.

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Search We Level Up FL Narcissistic Parents Mental Health Topics & Resources
Sources

[1] McBride, K. (2009). Will I ever be good enough to heal the daughters of narcissistic mothers? Atria Books. ISBN-10: 1439129436

[2] Malkin, C. (2015). Rethinking Narcissism: The secret to recognizing and coping with narcissists. Harper Collins.

[3] NIMH – https://www.nimh.nih.gov/search-nimh?q=Narcissistic+Parents

[4] Chaturvedi M, Chander R. Development of emotional stability scale. Ind Psychiatry J. 2010 Jan;19(1):37-40. DOI: 10.4103/0972-6748.77634. PMID: 21694789; PMCID: PMC3105556.

[5] Iram Rizvi SF, Najam N. Parental Psychological Abuse toward children and Mental Health Problems in adolescence. Pak J Med Sci. 2014 Mar;30(2):256-60. PMID: 24772122; PMCID: PMC3998989.

[6] Thomas PA, Liu H, Umberson D. Family Relationships and Well-Being. Innov Aging. 2017 Nov;1(3):igx025. DOI: 10.1093/geroni/igx025. Epub 2017 Nov 11. PMID: 29795792; PMCID: PMC5954612.

[7] Jabbari B, Rouster AS. Family Dynamics. [Updated 2022 Jul 25]. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2022 Jan-. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK560487/

[8] De Bellis MD, Zisk A. The biological effects of childhood trauma. Child Adolesc Psychiatr Clin N Am. 2014 Apr;23(2):185-222, vii. DOI: 10.1016/j.chc.2014.01.002. Epub 2014 Feb 16. PMID: 24656576; PMCID: PMC3968319.

[9] Kleber RJ. Trauma and Public Mental Health: A Focused Review. Front Psychiatry. 2019 Jun 25;10:451. DOI: 10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00451. PMID: 31293461; PMCID: PMC6603306.

[10] We Level Up – Mental Health » Trauma Treatment